ZOMG I live!!

And I lived through the first week of school too.

Anatomy and physiology is going to kick my ass though.

I'm so screwed.

Anyways, off to do more homework and studying.

Life, I swear, just likes to kick me in the ass.

One great big foot. It's quite painful.

Well, I live in a hectic world right now.

Lets see... what have I been up to?

I started playing World of Warcraft late last August and in the same week I started a new job. I now work at Nordstrom Rack in the shoe department. Yes, that's right, ladies and gents... The tomboy who couldn't be less girlie now can tell you a lot about shoes. Mens and womens. I can tell you about flats, heals, boots and sandals. I can tell you if we have them in black, brown, orange, red, green, blue, bone/taupe, white, silver, gold, multi or if they are athletic. And that's just for womens shoes. Mens are nice and easy. I can tell you about tie ox, slip on, and athletic. And I can tell you if they come in black, brown, multi and athletic. I can also tell you if we have any womens shoes in 4 narrow, or 14 wide.

I need a life.

My school semester should be complete in the next two weeks, or so. And next weekend, not this, but next... I am moving to a different apartment. It's been interesting. I have about two semesters of homework to catch up on AND I have to get my apartment packed up to get ready to move. Oh, have I mentioned that I haven't started packing yet, and that my mom and I are signing the lease on the 2nd of May?

Oh, in Febuary, I got two new tattoos. One on valentines day and the other a week before. The one I got on valentines day (ironically enough), is a heart being embraced by wings. The other, is the roman numeral 13 (XIII).

Um.... I can't really think of anything else.

So, uh... later?

I've been looking into apartments, as I'm moving in August/May, and here is one that I really, really like.

http://www.devonshireapts.com/index.erp

Cloverfield is a fucked up movie.

And if you play the very end (as in after the credits) backwards, it says "It's still alive."

And as my fiends say, it's a combination of Godzilla and the Blair Witch Project.

As I said in the beginning. Fucked up movie.

It had no real ending.

Fucked up.

I killed my desktop... *pouts*

I'm not happy.

Happy Christmas, to those who celebrate it.

And a happy birthday to nikusan!

I hope everyone has a joyous holiday. Whichever holiday that you may share.

So, how are my dear friends doing?

I want the world to stop so I can get off for a few days.

I live. I've just been extremely busy.

Okay, so I am out of antidepressants. I was going to get them refilled today, but I just haven't wanted to leave my apartment. But, because of that decision... I feel really horrid. Not that this surprises me, or anything... but I just really hate this feeling. I've come to realise just how much I really need these things.

But, because of this, I've realised just how pathetic I really am. I mean, I have never found myself attractive.... ever. And I never believe anyone who says that I am. To be honest... the antidepressants keep me out of my head. And I'm so extremely grateful for that. When I don't have them.. I go back to thinking that I will always be alone, and that no one will ever love me, or even want to be with me... even if I know that's not the case.

It's like - there's a whole other side of me that just screams to get out, and then once it does, there is no escaping it. Even when I do take the meds, I still hear the muffled screams of that other being inside of me. It haunts me every waking moment, and then comes back to rub it in my face in my dreams.

Every night, I have the same dream. And it always ends up with me standing alone, in a desert, staring into the clouds as rain cascades down my face. I can never escape these dreams, and it is really starting to take it's tole. I may be happy-go-lucky and optimistic on the outside, but it's only a mask. The mask hides what I'm really feeling... what I'm really thinking, and at night or when I haven't had my meds, that mask falls off and my real self comes through.

And it scares me. It scares me so much, that I just don't want to sleep anymore. Most days I just want to pump myself full of my meds and then curl up into a ball and hide away from the world - from reality.

Okay... shutting up now.

All right. I would just like to clarify something.

Each and every single tattoo on my body has a reason for being there. I realise that getting my kitten's name on my body is a ridiculous, crazy, probably stupid thing to have done. But no one knows how much that little girl means to me.

And for people thinking that I'm a lesbian because of it... well, they've been thinking that for the last 8 years. So, what else is new?

I just felt the need to clarify.

Your Results:


The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.


1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. Mahayana Buddhism (84%)
3. Theravada Buddhism (74%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (72%)
5. Jainism (70%)
6. New Age (67%)
7. Hinduism (65%)
8. Secular Humanism (53%)
9. Sikhism (53%)
10. Liberal Quakers (52%)
11. Taoism (51%)
12. New Thought (45%)
13. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (41%)
14. Reform Judaism (41%)
15. Scientology (40%)
16. Nontheist (32%)
17. Bahá'í Faith (26%)
18. Orthodox Quaker (26%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (24%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (18%)
21. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (10%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (8%)
23. Eastern Orthodox (5%)
24. Islam (5%)
25. Roman Catholic (5%)
26. Seventh Day Adventist (5%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (0%)


Funny thing is... I was raised Roman Catholic.


Take this quiz here. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

Note to self:

No more Dr. Pepper before bed. It causes strange dreams.


In other words, I had a date yesterday. It went really well! We played minigolf, and then went to Rainforest Cafe. It was mainly a get-to-know-you date. But it went really, really well.

Anyways. I have to get ready for work.

Hehehe... I made off with Eric's dogtags tonight at work.

*dances around*

He wants them back tomorrow though. Grr.

Damn... I adore that boy more than any of you know.

Bugger... Just my luck that I'd have to go into work on my day off.

Okay, so I would love some advice on something.

I have a hardcore crush on my coworker, Eric. He is 26, and is turning 27 on September 21st. I think he may return my feelings, but I'm not sure. He asked me if I was doing anything tonight, but I've been so wiped out lately, that I just told him that I was going to crash.

Now, my manager very much frowns upon inner-work (thing) dating... and I don't know if I could keep something like this from her. Robin and Leslie (Leslie is my coworker) tell me that I should take a chance on it, but I just don't know.

What do you guys think I should do. I really want to know.

I'm thinking I should give it a chance.... but I'm just not sure.

Please... help.

Dude... this episode of FY is making me cry hardcore.

*sniffle*

I really wish I could find the first disk of Fushigi Yuugi.... It'd be nice to see the whole series.

I'm not a fan of Eikoden, but I love the CGI that they use on the fake gods.

Okay, enough anime talk from me. Gotta get ready for work.

So... I don't have a Wii, but I have a Wii game.

*headdesk*

Mornings shouldn't exist. I hate being up this early.

It's been so long since I've seen fireworks. I forgot how much I missed them.

It's nice seeing them from my balcony.

I think this is the first time in 10 years that I've seen fireworks.

My left arm is all purdy and burnt!

YAY!

And to sleep I go, for I have to open the store tomorrow.

I hate mornings.

Happy one of my least favourite holidays.

OMFG!!! TRANSFORMERS RULES!!!!

I love living in a small town!

EVERYONE MUST SEE THAT MOVIE!!!!

One, I found my limited edition Hades pins on Ebay! YATTA!!!!

And in other news, how sad is it that I can still fit into a shirt that I've had since I was 6?

Okay, so. I have 130 hours scheduled for next month. This should be fun. (no sarcasm) And, I might get a promotion out of it!!

I just hope that this whole... tattoo/piercing fiasco passes quickly. I want to put my regular earings back in. These clear ones hurt my ears when I sleep.

Anyways, to bed I go. For mummy and poppy are coming to visit and I need to clean the rest of my apartment.

I HATE CLEANING!!!!!!!

Hey, Cori...

Do you and your dad want to have dinner with me and my family on friday night? We're eating at 7pm at that place that our parents ate at last spring. Magnus, or something, if you want to join us.

Just let me know asap.

WOOT!!!

Next month I have a grand total of 122 hours at work!!

SCORE!

Grawr...

The big wig from corperate came to one of our stores a few weeks back. Yeah, you can hear the bum bum BUM!!! now. Well, the person who greeted him looked like he should have been working at Hot Topic, instead of at Big Dogs. He had facial piercings up the whazoo, and a full body suit for tattoos, and his hair was disgustingly matted. The big wig fired him and the manager that hired him, and now everyone is in this huge frenzy over the whole deal.

So I had to go buy clear gage studs for 9 of my holes, and I had to by a wrist brace to cover the tattoo on my wrist. Not to mention I now have to wear polos every time I work to cover the tattoo on my neck, so I don't get fired.

Man, this blows.

In other news, I might be getting another promotion. Next month will be a trial run to see if I can handle working 30 hours a week. And if I can, my manager will be promoting me up to full time 3rd key. Which also means a pay raise (hopefully). On top of that, I'll be starting school full time on August 27th, so adding that to the 30-some hours a week will deifintitely be interesting. But, I've been told that I handle stress pretty decently.

I think things are finally becoming a little brighter.

Now, if only those things would shine a little light on my love life... *headdesk*

I adore Prince of Tennis!!!

*goes back to watching*

Oh boo... I've only been able to clone my pokemon once. And I've been trying for the last... 6 hours or so.

Grr this sucks.

In other news, sofar I've been able to keep down 7up, salteines, and a sammich.

Thank god I haven't thrown up yet.

Last time I did was 7pm yesterday.

Hey, Cori and Cristin. What are your three favourite colours? I want to make you guys something.

*is still watching Pokemon*

So... who exactly is Ash's father?

So... when I was shaving my underarms earlier, I somehow got part of my eyebrow too...

Wtf?

I just realised that Ho-oh appears in the very first episode of Pokemon...

After 11 years, I just realised that.

*headdesk*

*headdesk* My head hurts... the tylenol isn't helping.

Ugh. I slept 11 hours, and I still feel like shit.

Maybe I should go back to bed.

You know... I've always wondered what a squirel's defense mechanism was.

I've come to the conclusion that its...

OMFG RUN AWAY!!!

Yeah, that's got to be it.

I have successfully burnt my legs!

I have reached the epidomy of lazy.

I am sitting on my balcony, drinking soda, eating food. And next to me... is sitting my little fan. Yes, that is how I beat the heat. I sit outside, work on tanning (burning) my legs, while staying cool.

Gees... I need somthing to occupy my time.

You know... now that I think about it, I don't think knees are supposed to bend that way.

I should go by a knee brace. Maybe that will stop the pain.

I officially need to clean. I just took a painful dive coming in from the balcony.

Damn... that hurt.